Gluesticks

any advice on moulding hot melt glue sticks? I am an artist making things that require custom tinted hot melt glue sticks. I can sucessfully tint the melted glue, but I am having a hard time "remoulding" the tinted, melted glue. The glue that I am melting is a special ,extra sticky glue for wood. I have a process that works but is very long and involved I am trying to remake a glue stick, now tinted, for use in a standard vari-temp glue gun. The glue stick is 7/16 inch diameter. Touching it with your hands is not a options: it is hot and very sticky. I am also concerned about mould relaeases degrading the adhision of the glue.

Are Hot Glue Gun Glue Sticks Non-Toxic? I am about to build a playground out of popsicle sticks for my pet mice - it wouldn't be something that would stay in their cage - it would be for them to play on when I take them out of the cage. I want to use a hot glue gun because the glue is instant - bonds very well to wood and has no odour. Is it non-toxic though? The package doesn't say either way - it just says it's acid free and a must for crafter tool set. Are hot melt glue sticks generally non-toxic? They have no smell and I remember kids back whe I was a kid that would chew on them - and they didn't get sick.

How do i melt glue from a hot glue stick when it is used? I already used a glue but then idk how to unglue it

people who built popsicle stick bridges- hot melt glue guns okay? the rules are any glue max 200 sticks max 80% each popsicle stick covered, so 20% must be exposed no cutting no laminiating must span the 85cm gap must be atleast 6cm wide weigh will be placed in the center, a bar will go through the center, then a hook will be placed on the bar where it will hold a bucket where the weights will be placed my idea is an arch design so i made a prototype bridge to get the idea of what im doing. i used hot glue and realized hot glue guns have really strong fitting , however ive never used other strong glues before like caprentors glue or epoxy the GOAL IS TO HOLD 100 pounds. (100 pounds = 100% mark, 85 pounds is 85% mark, etc) are hot melt glue guns a good choice for building a bridge? this si for grade 12 physics not some middle school bs lol

can i melt those glue sticks to make liquid glue? i make a big glue stick and need to make liquid glue. Can i heat i up in the microwave? also these are NOT those hot glue gun sticks.

What is the difference between 'Stick it! cool melt glue gun' and 'Stick it! hot melt glue gun'? If anyone can help that would be great Kind regards Amber

will hot glue melt in the dryer? ok i have a gown that needs to be washed but my mom says i can't wash it cause it has these tassels hanging off it that were to long so she cut the rope shorter and hot glued the tassels back on and she say's when you put it in the dryer the glue will melt and stick to everything but i think it wont? and also do you think it will melt in the washing machine?

I was burned by hot glue.? I was foolishly trying to melt the hot glue stick, and flaming drips of glue fell off on my hand. In shock I immediately tried to rip off the drying glue (bad idea) now have a fleshy wound. Somehow there is a waxy material all oover the wound? Should i be concerned?

hot glue on penis please give me advice? my penies got stuck wiv hot glue gun wiv a thick block of wood stuck on a table and i had to bring the table to my GP. he sed to wrap my penis around hot sizzling kebab to make the glue melt of wiv the hot oil

wurth dent puller? i have a wurth dent puller and have run out of hot melt glue sticks which are a golden yellow type anybody know where i can get hold of these in the uk,thanks

Glue for two-piece composite hockey stick? The hot melt glue in craft glue guns won't cut it, because it dries too soft. I need something that does well in cold temperatures for outdoor and indoor hockey. Hopefully it isn't super expensive, but does a great job of bonding the stick to the blade. I haven't been too impressed with the stuff that comes on the blade, as it seems to wear out fairly quickly. What I should be looking for? Can I find it at a hardware store?

Is it safe to use glue (the ones from a hot gun) in my aquarium.? The leg of an ornament fell off and i want to glue just one piece together. Is it safe to use the hot glue gun type of glue, the ones that come in a stick then you put it into the gun to melt? It is a 10 gallon tank with freshwater community fish.

what kind of glue is used when making candy bar "cakes"? They are so cool... check them out at www.pamcake.com I have tried using hot glue, which melts the chocolate and messes it up. Rubber cement takes way too long to stick and dry. I don't want to use tooth picks or pins of any kind. I don't know what else to use... any ideas? Thank you.

Which of these is an example of a physical change? a. A peach spoils. b. A copper bowl tarnishes. c. A piece of jewelery turns your skin green. d. A hot glue-gun melts a glue stick.

egg drop project...need help...? i need to make a container thing to put a raw egg in for an egg-drop project...i really need some ideas... i can only use*: 1. mounting board - 1*A3 2. box card (cereal box type) - 1*A3 3. expanded polystyrene - 1*A5 4. normal white paper - 2*A3 5. drinking straws - 10*400mm 6. rubber bands - 8 7. cord - 1*500mm 8. masking tape - 1*500mm 9. glue gun (hot melt glue) - 1/2 stick Constraints: 1. The egg can't be glued into position (duh...) 2. The structure should be easy to open for checking purposes *I don't have to use all the materials...

10 pts!!! EASY CHEMISTRY!!! read!!? 10 pts!! easy!!! _____1. A good definition of a chemical is any substance that Causes corrosion Has definite composition Is hazardous Is used in industrial processes _____2. Matter that is free to move and fills its available volume is in the _____state. Liquid Solid Gaseous Elemental _____3. The state of matter in which a material is most likely to resist compression is the Solid state Liquid state Gaseous state Vaporous state _____4. A chemical change occurs when Dissolved minerals solidify to form a crystal Ethanol is purified through distillation Salt deposits form from evaporated seawater A leaf changes color _____5. Which of the following shows a physical change occurring? A peach spoils A copper bowl tarnishes A piece of jewelry turns your skin green A hot-glue gun melts a glue stick _____6. Mercury (II) oxide decomposes into mercury and oxygen. In this reaction, mercury is A reactant A product A foul-smelling substance Sometimes a reactant and sometimes a product _____7. Which of the following observations does NOT indicate that a chemical change has occurred? Change of state Formation of a precipitate Absorption of energy Release of a gas

how can i attatch my nose to some cheese so i can sniff cheese forever :)? preferable uses of attatching: - staples - superglue - hot glue - melted cheese - chewing gum - bubble gum let me no what you think im so stuck on this one =D ps. im sane honest

Do you like the poem I wrote for my mom? A mother's heart is bigger then all others the moment you are born into the world and she felt the baby bump in her stomach she knew you were on your way... The time she held you for the first time in her arms she couldn't breathe from all the heart ache and pain she went through to give birth to you, but it all was worth it ... She smiled as you looked up at her for the first time, that instant she fell in love with your little round head and your fat little chubby cheeks.. Years after years she kept your little teeth from the tooth fairy and put coins under your pillow, watching the joy of your excited imagination tell her in detail what you thought the tooth fairy looked like... Day after day she walked to you to the bus and watched you come home every day from school to see you studying hard with your difficult spelling words and helped you learn to read . Their she sat, when you told her for the first time you had a crush on a boy... She asked you “What does he look like? Is he your boyfriend?'' Does he have a name''... You just blushed and wanted to bury your head into your arms out of embarrassment of being horrified. After that first time you told her how your first kiss happened she was so delighted, but told your dad to give you the sex talk... Then you went through your teen years and gave your mom the attitude... But did she leave your side? No she stuck to your side like hot melted glue.. She helped you through those troubling teen years shaping you into a young woman ; puberty and the horrible period.. Yes we all have it ... This just proves how much a mother loves her daughter... Happy Valentines Day!....

How do you fasten a hardware cloth wire mesh to a hole cut in the lid of a polypropylene plastic bin? It was so difficult to find a commercial cage large enough for a young Syrian hamster that I will be acquiring later, that I decided to make my own out of one of the largest semi-clear plastic bins I could find at Wal-Mart. It's a Sterilite and has about 30 inches by 12 inches of floor space, with a height of 12 inches. which I think should be enough headroom that the hamster doesn't feel crowded and enough that the hamster shouldn't be able to escape easily, especially if the long sides of the lid are fastened to the sides of the bin with velcro straps to remove slack that might be pushed up by a determined hamster. I will be cutting out a huge hole in the bin's lid and placing hardware cloth wire mesh over it, but it's been again very difficult to figure out exactly what sort of adhesive will stick to polypropylene. Searching for hits on the subject has popped up a hint that some hot-melt glue is made of a kind of polypropylene plus other substances, which leads one to think this might work. I'd like ideally to completely cover the raw edges of the cut hardware cloth wire mesh with smoothed adhesive, both for safety and for ease of cleaning. I guess the question is how best to permanently affix the hardware cloth wire mesh's raw edges to the edges of the huge hole cut in the polypropylene lid (which is white, by the way, for whatever it's worth), and in a way that doesn't emit harmful fumes later for the hamster. Those are terrific suggestions! I'd still like to find an adhesive, but it appears to be a good idea anyway to fasten the screen to the lid with a few dozen small plastic ties. I've got a large bag of small plastic ties ideal for the purpose, for which I'd never actually found much use previously. It should be possible to glue over those, with the plastic ties taking up the strain. It's not as if a cat or dog will be tap-dancing on the screen, so none of all those little holes should tear. I think I'll check the dollar store for baking cooling racks. If they're small, two of them should do well. If all else fails, I guess it shouldn't be too much trouble to use a Dremel tool to smooth over the scratchy bits on hardware cloth wire mesh. I think the work will be worth it for a large tub that is really easy to clean and offers plenty of room for such additions as a sand bath and multiple toys.

elmers glue CLOGED PLEASE HELPP!!!!!!? the other week i was masturbating with what i THOUGTH was my mcspankies johnson lube... little did i know that i was using a product that children use in kindergarden.. elmers glue.. i cloged my entire penis shaft with this stuff and i hadnt lost the erection, so now my penis is stuck in an erect state. i dont know what to do. i called out of work for an entire week b.c i cant go to work with an erect dick... is there anythng i can do to melt this glue? when i try to pee the pressure builds up and after about 5 min. of pain i shoot a little bit of urine all over my toilet seet. I tried to break the glass on my microwave and put my dick inside and put it on for 30 seconds but it doesnt get hot enough to melt the hard glue. PLEASE RESPOND

ONE FOR THE GIRLS ( PART TWO )? IF YOU HAVE NOT READ PART ONE PLEASE READ THAT FIRST THIS IS THE CONCLUTION IT DID NOT FIT ON ONE PAGE BEST TO COPY PAST IT READ LATER ALTOGETHER The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. SEALED SHUT!!!! MY BUTT IS SEALED SHUT! SEALED SHUT!!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!****** I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter...... "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and. OH MY GOD!!!!!!! congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......

How do you get packing peanuts to stick together? I'm making a sculpture for school. It's supposed to be an accumulation of little things (the same things) in order to make a small sculpture. I haven't tried hot glue yet, but I've heard it will only melt them.

can you sauder copper to brass? 6ft hookah? i bought a huge hookah, but it doesnt have a stem, so i have to make my own, and i tried saudering aluminum to it, but it wouldnt stick to it. the hookah itself is made of brass. we also werent sure if we could hot glue it or not because the hot glue might melt any suggestions?

What surfaces does wallpaper stick to, and will it fall off in extreme heat? We live in Darwin, where the walls are rendered or exposed painted brick. Will wallpaper adhere to this surface? Also, the walls can get very hot at certain times of the day, and we were wondering if this would make the glue melt, and consequently make the wallpaper shift or peel.

How to insulate a storage shed with a metal roof? I live in Texas and it gets very hot most of the year. I need to the shed to be comfortable so it can be used as a workout room and to keep our dogs in. My fiance tried to insulate it and said "the glue won't stick to metal, it gets too hot and will melt". I don't know anything about this, but yahoo answers has helped many times before. So what is the easiest and most cost effective way to insulate the roof? We do have a heater/ac unit installed, and a fan but the heat just bakes through the roof

Installing my Sirius receiver on my dash? OK, I want to hang it on my dash. I do not like the bar like thing that comes with the radio, it looks so stupid. Well, I have used velcro and since it has started getting really hot, especially in my car w/ black interior, the glue on the back of the velcro melts and the receiver falls down. The reason I use velcro is because I the only place I have to hang it is in front of the cd player and so I have to remove it when I put a cd in. I have tried super glue, but when you put it on the glue that is already on the velcro, it does not stick. Please give me some advise. Thanks!!

Person to answer the most of these questions (or all) wins 10 points? don't say something like "you have too much time on your hands" i found this on the internet and simply copied and pasted it, you can tell i didn't type it all because it's far more than 1000 characters, whoever can answer the most or if it's possible ALL these questions will earn 10 points and most importantly, my respect BEGIN :) What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

How do you..........? connect the rein ends on home made rope reins? I am making rope reins for my friends. This is what I have, Nylon rope like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/47149982@N05/4388216391/in/photostream/ A clip like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/47149982@N05/4388979936/in/photostream/ Now I just need to know how to get the part my fingers are holding stuck together: http://www.flickr.com/photos/47149982@N05/4388979970/in/photostream/ Do I use a hot glue gun or something. My dad and I were thinking about melting it together. Is that what you do? Thanks in advance:) Lexi

Things to ponder? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

thing to ponder. ( a lot!!!)? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

Just 4 Fun? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?

A couple questions i have? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane? Can you cry under water? If a man alone in the woods said something would a woman still say he was wrong? Can Bald people have Hairline fractures? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the

try to answer same of there's ? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the ha

if you ansewr all of these you will get ten pionts plus then more piont by another question? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane? Can you cry under water? If a man alone in the woods said something would a woman still say he was wrong? Can Bald people have Hairline fractures? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? f you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic? Why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers? Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? Whenever an adult is kidnapped why isn't it called adultnapped?? Why do blacklights look purple? Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni? Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them? How come the Bible is the most stolen book, and one of the ten comandments is "thou shall not steal"? Why isn't the caps lock capitalized? If there's a hole straight through the earth, from the south pole to the north pole, and you jump through it what would happen? would you keep falling forever, or fall back down when you get to the middle, or is it physically impossible? If someone with a nostril ring takes it out, then blows their nose, do they have to cover that hole as well as their nostril holes so that snot does'nt blow out everywere? Isn't it weird that if you rearange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"? How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk? How come people say they ate the last piece of gum, when they really just chew it? If a pope goes to the bathroom, is it considered holy crap? You know the saying "throw ya hands in the air like ya don't care"? why bother doing that if you dont care? Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple? If "Fantasy Island" really granted wishes, why wasn't Tattoo 6'6" ? Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date? If you called the police station to talk to an officer and he was not there, would that be considered a cop out? Can bald people get a hair line fracture? Why do they put holes in crackers? How come on TV the bell always rings and then the kids go to class, but in real life you need to be in class before the bell rings? Why can the saying "it's all downhill from here." mean both that it will be easy and that it is going to get worse? If all of ACME's products backfire, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying them? Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing? If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach? Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread? Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off? Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"? Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads? Why can't liquor freeze? If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down? How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age? Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of? What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack? Who was in the kitchen with Dina? Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"? Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it? How old does something have to be to become an antique? Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework? Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on? Do babies produce more spit than adults? How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes? Do cows have calf muscles? Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not? If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players? If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke? Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets? If you died with braces on would they take them off? If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time? Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters? If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself? Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot? Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread? Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice? How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown? Have ex-punsters been expunged? Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional? Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed? Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted? Have ex-bankers become disinterested? Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission? Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape? Why is the word "abbreviate" so long? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light? Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one? Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? no they don't wanna be right and i thought it would be fun to get a free 20 pts bu ti guess not ok if you won't anwser them tell me you favorite ok since SOME ppl have anwered i will let the voting deside then woh ever wins will ge the ten extra point thx for reading ( .ps i got this from www.bored.com in the humor section)

I have a couple questions? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane? Can you cry under water? If a man alone in the woods said something would a woman still say he was wrong? Can Bald people have Hairline fractures? What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could some

wax on wax off.funny or not? cold wax All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic

Interesting hair removing joke what say you? All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. ! (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRRIIIPPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin-walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether, regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and *hoo-hoo* are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or *hoo-hoo*?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! Like I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major dive and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... ermmm its a joke?

Removal.............? All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard c an i t be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?' She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My frien My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!' I get a hearty congratu la ti on from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Star if it made you laugh, and leave a comment. Ok, now I'm dying of emberassment! This story was emailed to me! Didn't happen to me! Though I do have some true life hysterical stores that DID happen to me. Like the time I got locked in a Grey Hound toilet on the bus....never mind. Sometimes it's best to keep certain things to ones self.

Another funny story, so post your comments, please. Just wanted to make everyone laugh!!? All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and . . . . . . pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.........RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...........must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake.......remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub... in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glue together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......

spiritually laughing: have you ever had trials and tribulations with hair removal? THIS IS HYSTERICAL! (I don't have a clue as to who wrote this, but....WHAT A HOOT!) All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise:( the bathroom.) It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YOU'D THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...but isn't....... I touch it I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember that my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than than I am use to. I feel like a tortured prisoner of war as I sit down in the scalding hot water. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?' She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!!Like I should be the joke of someone else's night.(NOT) While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sti oh no it cut off shame on me for not checking I'll post the rest in a second booooo me! the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GAWD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend who is still laughing and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Girls you will understand this? All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and . . . . . . pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.........RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...........must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake.......remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub... in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glue together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling fo

If you really want to laugh...you gotta read this.? All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - the Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah.. Right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. IT WORKS! Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPP! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out..must stay conscious.. must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe.OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slyly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.. It's not!! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do next and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right? *WRONG!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub..in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located. "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH, RIGHT! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through the various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than having your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is st

What do you think of this joke??? Stick with it, pardon the pun!? So, do you WAX????? Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy! This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever heard of... Bless this woman!!! All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The Wax!! My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for the month?" So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!! With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!! I'm making noises that only dogs can hear . Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP... Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have forgotten how .. Do I hear crashing drums????? Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . . Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub! There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located. "Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - you know - Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night jokes. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care!! "IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . . No this didn`t happen to me!

For the ladies and gents that Wax? Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! I recived this from a GF and as one whos tried those cold wax strips all I gotta say is OMMFG yeowch..lol enjoy the laugh I did.\ All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, You just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press th em to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around i t tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I Sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-ha* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused Me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX?? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. '*hoo-ha*' sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin wal k around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, Immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub..in scalding hot wa ter. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?' She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain i s not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works!!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT ! !!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... I know this has really happened to someone or similar atlest. So heres mine. I use to use Nads natural hair remover and in the middle of "cleaning up" I get a phone call and its very important I take it, so duck waddeling to the phone I pick up and start talking. While the conversation is going on I dont hear the front door open as its my husband coming home from work. All of a sudden I hear him laughing his butt off at me and Im like what? WHAT?! he reaches behind me and rips somthing stuck to my leg off. I scream bloody murder as it was stuck in a sensetive area and like the lady in the story above theres nothing stuck to it cept the sticky stuff. I turned 6 shades of red and never to this day have waxed or used any other creme remover and never will. I still get teased about it when Im showering and shaving..lol Men are so mean. Hugs all

What do you think? funny? It's long but stick with it. Pun intended? One of my favourites. So, do you WAX????? Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy! This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever heard of... Bless this woman!!! All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now.... The Wax!! My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for the month?" So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my r e a r end (Oh, how this phrase haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!! With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my p a n t i e s and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini line, covering the right half of my 'you know what' and stretching down to the inside of my b u t t cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!! I'm making noises that only dogs can hear . Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP... Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have forgotten how .. Do I hear crashing drums????? Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . . Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. V? Sealed shut! B u t t?? Sealed shut!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilise surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my b u t t and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub! There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located. "Are we talking b u t t o c k cheek or is it covering - you know - Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! I should be the 'b u t t' of someone else's work-night jokes. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care!! "IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . .

true story ....? If nothing else, this will give you a good soul cleansing laugh . . . All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on. . . My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIIIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe................. OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Tomorrow will be a better day.

Fixing xbox 360 red ring of death? Ok i done some research and seem to find 3 methods of fixing the Xbox 360 but i have some questions Well first I’m guessing the rrod is caused by the heat of the heat sync melting the components (glue stuff) on the motherboard. Correct me if I’m wrong this seems to happen because of the brackets under the motherboard holding the heat syncs in must get hot after playing Xbox for a long time and melting the glue. So the fixes are The Towel Trick (temporary fix) The towel trick works by re-melting the components on the motherboard, not just the loose components that stopped your xbox working, but all the components! So it can be bad for your xbox Placing erasers on the 4 chip sets (temporary fix) open the xbox and use double sided tape to stick small 4mm erasers onto the 4 memory modules next to the X clamps. Not sure what this does? I think it just conducts heat? Cleaning and using the a arctic compound/paste (PERM fix) Well open xbox up you take off the two X bracket off that’s holding the heat syncs in and clean the paste off the chip with the arctic compound and the use the arctic paste (and replace bracket with machine screws to prevent it happing again) The contents for the perm fix 1. Arctic Silver Remover http://www.outletpc.com/c2029.html 2. Arctic Silver http://www.outletpc.com/c2025.html a) 8 M5-.80 x 10 Machine Screws #138433 b) 16 #10 Flat Washers – Nylon #139065 c) 16 5mm Flat – Metal #138319 Question is any off this true, are these methods harmful will it actually fix my xbox perm? And more info on erasers would be cool Any more info ask well first i cant send it too MS cause its second hand, broken seal already, The eraser thing was on a $23 guide but i didn't pay for. i cant use pennies cause i'm not American but thx for the info

This is really long but, worth it!! One of my faves? So, do you WAX????? Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy! This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever heard of... Bless this woman!!! All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The Wax!! My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for the month?" So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!! With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!! I'm making noises that only dogs can hear . Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP... Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have forgotten how .. Do I hear crashing drums????? Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . . Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub! There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located. "Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - you know - Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night jokes. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care!! "IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . . Yes bekah17 I have posted it before! Why not........

I can just imagine the pain? WAX is Not your Friend > This is funny! CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed till I Almost cried as I could just see this happening! All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Her night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, Play with the kids. She then had the thought that would ring painfully In her mind for the next few hours: "Maybe she should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So She headed to the site of her demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you Just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel Them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull The hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, she's Not a genius, but she is mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So she pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each Other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, her genius kicks in so she got out the Hair dryer and heated it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"yeah...right!) she Laid the strip across her thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It Works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. She Can Do this! Hair removal no longer eludes her! She is She-rah, fighter of All wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With her next wax strip she moved north. After checking on the kids, she Sneaks back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. She drops her panties and placed one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, she applied the one strip across the right side of her bikini line, covering the right half of her *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of her bum cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) she inhaled deeply and Braced herself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! See's blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! Vision Returning, she noticed that she's only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and Spotted. She may pass out...must stay conscious...does she hear Crashing drums??? Breathe, Breathe...OK, back to normal. She wanted to see her trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has Caused her so much pain, with her hairy pelt sticking to it. She wants to revel In the glory that is her triumph over body hair. She holds up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly she eased her head down, foot still perched on the toilet. She sees The hair. The hair that should be on the strip. She touches. She is touching wax. CRAP! She runs her fingers over the most sensitive part of her body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then she makes the next BIG Mistake...remember her foot is still propped up on the toilet? She knows she Needs to do something. So she puts her foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!!she hears the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! She penguin walks around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do And thinks to herself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head May pop off!" What can she do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! She ran the hottest water she can stand into the bathtub, got in, Immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and she can gently wipe it Off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! She gest in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to Torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - she sits. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now she's stuck to the bottom of the tub as though she had cement-epoxied herself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced her a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! She called her Friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some Secret of how to get her undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for Removal but she does try to hide her laughter from her. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...she can hear her.she give her the Rundown and she suggests she call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! She should be the joke of someone else's night. While they go through various solutions.she resorts to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot Wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then Dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and she's Pretty sure she's going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. Her friend is still talking with her when she finally see her saving Grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What does she Really have to lose at this point?she rubs some on and OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of her friend. It's sooo painful, but she really doesn't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" She gets a hearty congratulation from her friend and she hangs up. She successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notices to her grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So she recklessly shaves it off. Heck, she's numb by now. Nothing hurts. She could have amputated her own leg at this point. Next week she's going to try hair color..... . Michelle.......it all depends where you're waxing!...lol.

Do you like the poem I wrote for my mom? A mother's heart is bigger then all others the moment you are born into the world and she felt the baby bump in her stomach she knew you were on your way... The time she held you for the first time in her arms she couldn't breathe from all the heart ache and pain she went through to give birth to you, but it all was worth it ... She smiled as you looked up at her for the first time, that instant she fell in love with your little round head and your fat little chubby cheeks.. Years after years she kept your little teeth from the tooth fairy and put coins under your pillow, watching the joy of your excited imagination tell her in detail what you thought the tooth fairy looked like... Day after day she walked to you to the bus and watched you come home every day from school to see you studying hard with your difficult spelling words and helped you learn to read . Their she sat, when you told her for the first time you had a crush on a boy... She asked you “What does he look like? Is he your boyfriend?'' Does he have a name''... You just blushed and wanted to bury your head into your arms out of embarrassment of being horrified. After that first time you told her how your first kiss happened she was so delighted, but told your dad to give you the sex talk... Then you went through your teen years and gave your mom the attitude... But did she leave your side? No she stuck to your side like hot melted glue.. She helped you through those troubling teen years shaping you into a young woman ; puberty and the horrible period.. Yes we all have it ... This just proves how much a mother loves her daughter... Happy Valentines Day!....

Can you beleive it.? just had to send this too you - hysterical!! No wonder I still shave > my legs......! > > > Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would > dare! Hope you > enjoy! > > > > This has to be one of the funniest and most awful > scenarios I have > ever > > heard of... Bless this woman!!! > > All hair removal methods have tricked us with their > promises of easy, > > painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, > Nair and now.... The > > Wax!! > > > > My night began as any other normal weekday night. > Come home; fix > > dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought > that would ring > > painfully in my mind for the next few hours; 'Maybe > I should do the > hair > > removal thing for the month?' > > > > So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. > It was one of > those > > cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you > just rub the strips > > together in your hand and then they get warm and you > peel them apart, > > press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair > comes right off! No > > mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no > girly, girl, but am > > mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it > out. > > > > *YA THINK!!!* > > So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two > strips facing each > > together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them > together, I get out > > the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax > my rear end (Oh, > how > > this phrase haunts me!). > > > > I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin > around it tight and > > pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it > wasn't too bad. I > can > > do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am > She-Ra, fighter of > > all wayward body hair and smooth skin > extraordinaire!! > > > > With my next wax strip, I move 'north'. After > checking on the kids, I > > sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair > fighting > > championship. I drop my panties and place one foot > on the toilet. > > > > Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip > across the right side > > of the bikini line, covering the right half of my > vagina and > stretching > > down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a > long strip). I > inhale > > deeply and brace myself.... > > > > RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! > > I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR > GOD !!!!!!!!!!! I'm > > making noises that only dogs can hear. > > > > Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only > managed to pull off > > half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and > RRIIPP... > > > > Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath > or speak - I have > > forgotten how .. > > Do I hear crashing drums????? > > > > Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) > After all this I > > want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with > my hairy pelt > that > > has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want > to revel in the > glory > > that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the > strip! > > > > There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS > THE WAX? Slowly I > > ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. > I see the > hair... > > The hair that should be > > on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I > run my fingers > over > > the most sensitive part of my body, which is now > covered in cold wax > and > > matted hair. > > > > Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . . > > Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. > I know I need to > > do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear > the slamming of > the > > cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed > shut!!! > > > > > > I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure > out what to do > and > > think to myself, 'Please don't let me get the urge > to poop. My head > may > > pop off.' > > > > Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the > hottest water I can > > stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax > covered bits and the > wax > > should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? > > > > WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly > hotter than then > > that used to > > torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical > equipment - I sit. > > > > Now, the only thing worse that having your nether > businesses glued > > together is having them glued together and then > glued to the bottom > of > > the tub. > > > > In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't > melt cold wax) > So, > > now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless > the man what > > convinced me I should have a phone in the > bathroom!!! I call my > friend, > > thinking surely she's waxed before and has come > secret of how to get > me > > undone. It's a very good conversation starter, 'So > my butt and who-ha > > are stuck to the bottom of the tub!' There is a > slight pause. She > > doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide > the laughter from > me. > > She wants to know exactly where the wax is located. > > > > 'Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - > you know - > > Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point)?' > > > > > > She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I > give her the > rundown > > and she suggests I call the number on the side of > the box. > > > > > > YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! > > > > > > I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night > jokes. While we > go > > through various solutions, I resort to scraping the > wax off with a > > razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie > goodies covered > in > > hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot > water, and then > dry > > shaving the sticky wax off!!! > > > > By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken > a major hike and > I > > slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still > talking with me and > my > > hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion > they give you to > > remove the excess wax. > > > > What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub > some on and OH MY > > GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared > the dickens out of > my > > friend, but I really don't care!! > > > > 'IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!' I get a hearty > congratulation from my friend > > and she hangs up. I successfully remove the > remainder of the wax and > > then notice, to my grief and despair... > > > > THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! > > > > > > So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. > > > > > > Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . . . > >

questions!? How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it? Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway? In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section? Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge? Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel? If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk? Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you? If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven? If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy? Do they call a fortune teller who cant see a "blind seer"? Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts? Can you cry underwater? You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why doesn't flavored gum turn your mouth that color? If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient? Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are? If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe? If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? Do nudists have pin-ups of people with clothes on? How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time? If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"? When the French swear do they say pardon my English? Do people who use sign language see little hands in their head when they think about what somebody said, or do they hear the words in their head? How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they call someone "late" if they died early? Why are the adjectives 'fast as' and 'slow as' often used in conjunction with hell, is hell slow or fast? If the serving size on a can of soda is one can, then why is the serving size on the little can one can, too? Wouldn't the little cans be 2 cans? If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family? Why are red buttons always the most important? How is chess considered a sport? Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit? If a hermaphrodite got sent to a certain gender prison, which one would it get sent to? If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be "degraded"? If you get chemo-therapy do you lose your pubic hairs? Would you die if you didn't pee? Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man? How's come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. When Jewish People go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they? If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles? If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up? Could you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone be addicted to counseling? If so, how would you treat them? If ketchup is good on french fries, how come it isn't good on mashed potatoes? Where do all the daylight savings hours go? Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head? What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT" Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"? How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt? Why doesn't broccoli come in a can? Can you slam a revolving door? How young can you be, but still die of old age? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons? What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card? Can you read a picture book? Why does it say "shake well" on ketchup bottles, but not ketchup packets? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism? Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts! If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? if you're on an American airline, and you land in Canada and stay on the plane, is the drinking age still 21 or does it change to 19? What happens if every team in the NFL goes 8-8? What shape is the sky? If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves? If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking? If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them? What is a chickpea if it is neither a chick nor a pea? Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?What's the difference between a novel and a book? How old are you before it can be said you died of old age? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth? If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket? If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries. Do penguins have knees? Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Can you answer these questions? 1) How do you ship styrofoam? 2) How young can you die of old age? 3) If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2? 4) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 5) Do you need a silencer to shoot a mime? 6) If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter? 7) If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn? 8) How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there? 9) Is there another word for synonym? 10) Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it? 11) Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? 12) If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them? 13) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 14) Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? 15) Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 16) If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it? 17) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 18) What was the best thing before sliced bread? 19) If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose? 20) Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends? 21) If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation? 22) Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?" 23) If you're against picketing, how do you show it? 24) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? 25) If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back? 26) Do fish get thirsty? 27) How do blind people know when they are done wiping? 28) If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 29) If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 30) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 31) Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? 32) How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? 33) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? 34) Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? 35) How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing? 36) Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? 37) Why are boxing rings square? 38) Why doesn't the glue stick inside the bottle? 39) Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 40) Can vegitarians eat animal crakers 41) What do you do when a endangered animal eats endangered plants? 42) If a turtle does not have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 43) Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 44) If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? 45) Do penguins have knees? 46) Isn't it weird that if you rearange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"? 47) If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach? 48) Who was in the kitchen with Dina? 49) Do cows have calf muscles? 50) Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval? 51) Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda? 52) If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? 53) Is angel food cake just as good in heaven? 54) Why didn't the person who invented the Snooze button win a Nobel Prize? 55) If the wicked witch melted when touched with water wouldn't she smell horrible? 56) Who's in the Burger King suit? 57) How does Freddy Kruger wipe? 58) Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out? 59) How did the headless horseman know where he was going? 60) Can a hearse driver drive in the carpool lane? 61) What came first the chicken or the egg? 62) If a fly gets it's wings pulled off, whyisn't it called a walk? 63) Why do "thaw" and "unthaw" mean the same thing? 64) Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

if u fink u had a bad day..........? >All methods have tricked me with their promises of easy, painless hair >removal -the Epilady, the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the >EpilStop, and now, "The Wax". > >My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home from >work, fixed dinner for my son and we played for a while. I then had >the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple >hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine cabinet. > >I set up my boy with a video and headed to the site of my demise, um, >I mean bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump >of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them >apart, press it on your leg (or wherever) and ignore the frantically >rising crescendo of string instruments in the background. No muss, no >fuss. How hard can this be? I mean, I'm not the girly-est of girls but >I'm mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out how this works. >You'd think. > >So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each >other, stuck together. I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and >soften the wax (I'm guessing). I go one better: I pull out the hair >dryer and heat the SOB to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my ass. (Oh, >how that phrase will come back to haunt me.) I lay the strip across my >thigh. I hold the skin around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best >feeling in the world, but it wasn't bad. I can do this! Hair removal >no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward body hair and >smooth skin extraordinaire! > >With my next wax strip, I move north. > >After checking on the boy and verifying that he was, in fact, becoming >one with Bear and learning all about smells, I sneak into the bathroom >for The Ultimate Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and >place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply >the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the >right half of my vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right >butt cheek.(Yeah, it was a long strip.) I inhale deeply. I brace >myself. > >RRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind! Blind from the pain! Vision returning. Oh >crap. I've managed to pull off half an inch of the strip. > >Another deep breath. And RIIIP! Everything is swirly and tie-dyed? Do >I hear crashing drums? OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see >my trophy - my wax covered pelt that caused me so much agony. I want >to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the >wax strip like an Olympic gold medallist. But why is there no hair on >it? Why is the wax mostly gone? Where could the wax go, if not on the >strip? > >Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet. I >see hair - the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am >touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently shout "nooooooo!!" >And realize I have just begun living my own personal version of "The >Tar Baby." > >I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive part of my body that >is now covered in cold wax and matted hair, and make the next big >mistake - up until this point, yo u'll remember, I've had my foot on >the toilet. > >I know I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the >floor. And then I hear the slamming of the cell door. > >Vagina? Sealed shut. > >Butt? Sealed shut. > >A little voice in my head says, "I hope you don't have to sh *t >anytime soon. Your head just might pop off." I penguin walk around the >bathroom trying desperately to figure out what I should do next. > >Hot water! Hot water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand >and get in - the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it away, right? >Wrong. I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than is used to >torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment. And I sit. > >Now the only thing worse than having your goodies glued together is >having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. > >In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax. >So now I'm stuck to the tub. > >I call my friend, C, because she once dropped out of beauty school so >surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to get wax off skin. >It's never good to start a conversation with "So my butt and naughty >bits are stuck to the tub." She doesn't have a trick. She does her >best to suppress laughter. She wants to know exactly where the wax is >on the butt - "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She >isn't even trying to hide the giggles now. > >I give her the run-down of the entire night. She tells me to call the >number on the side of the box, but to have a good cover story for >where the wax actually is. "You know that if we were working the help >line at XX Wax Co. and somebody called with their entire crack sealed >shut we'd just put them on hold then record the conversation for >everyone we know. You're going to end up on a radio show or the >internet if you tell them the truth. > >While we go through various solutions, I have resorted to scraping the >wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing feels better to the girly goodies >than covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water >and THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off! > >In the middle of the conversation (which has inexplicably turned to >other subjects!) I find the little, beautiful saving grace that is the >lotion provided with wax to remove the excess. I rub some in and start >screaming "It's working! It's working!" I get hearty congratulations >from C and we hang up. > >I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, the hair >is still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by >that point anyway. > >And then I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet. > >Never know when a moustache might start to come in. > >Tonight, I attempt hair dying.

Can you answer these questions? 1) How do you ship styrofoam? 2) How young can you die of old age? 3) If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2? 4) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 5) Do you need a silencer to shoot a mime? 6) If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter? 7) If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn? 8) How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there? 9) Is there another word for synonym? 10) Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it? 11) Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? 12) If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them? 13) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 14) Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? 15) Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 16) If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it? 17) If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 18) What was the best thing before sliced bread? 19) If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose? 20) Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends? 21) If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation? 22) Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?" 23) If you're against picketing, how do you show it? 24) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? 25) If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back? 26) Do fish get thirsty? 27) How do blind people know when they are done wiping? 28) If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 29) If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 30) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 31) Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? 32) How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? 33) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? 34) Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? 35) How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing? 36) Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? 37) Why are boxing rings square? 38) Why doesn't the glue stick inside the bottle? 39) Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 40) Can vegitarians eat animal crakers 41) What do you do when a endangered animal eats endangered plants? 42) If a turtle does not have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 43) Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 44) If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? 45) Do penguins have knees? 46) Isn't it weird that if you rearange the word "teacher" you get "cheater"? 47) If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach? 48) Who was in the kitchen with Dina? 49) Do cows have calf muscles? 50) Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval? 51) Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda? 52) If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it? 53) Is angel food cake just as good in heaven? 54) Why didn't the person who invented the Snooze button win a Nobel Prize? 55) If the wicked witch melted when touched with water wouldn't she smell horrible? 56) Who's in the Burger King suit? 57) How does Freddy Kruger wipe? 58) Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out? 59) How did the headless horseman know where he was going? 60) Can a hearse driver drive in the carpool lane? 61) What came first the chicken or the egg? 62) If a fly gets it's wings pulled off, whyisn't it called a walk? 63) Why do "thaw" and "unthaw" mean the same thing? 64) Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?