Gluesticks - What do you think? funny? It's long but stick with it. Pun intended?

What do you think? funny? It's long but stick with it. Pun intended?

One of my favourites. So, do you WAX????? Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy! This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever heard of... Bless this woman!!! All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now.... The Wax!! My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for the month?" So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my r e a r end (Oh, how this phrase haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!! With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my p a n t i e s and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini line, covering the right half of my 'you know what' and stretching down to the inside of my b u t t cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!! I'm making noises that only dogs can hear . Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP... Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have forgotten how .. Do I hear crashing drums????? Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . . Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. V? Sealed shut! B u t t?? Sealed shut!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off." Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilise surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter, "So my b u t t and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub! There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located. "Are we talking b u t t o c k cheek or is it covering - you know - Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! I should be the 'b u t t' of someone else's work-night jokes. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care!! "IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . .

Public Comments

that is LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL thats how funny it is LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
LOL! You were right! Only a woman could laugh at this, because only a woman can relate! A bit long, but well worth the laugh at the end! :-)
FANTASTIC!!!! That's the funniest thing I have read for a long time! Thanks for making me laugh- not just giggle! Have a star...it would have been a thumbs up, but they took that away from us!
HAHAHA!!! i so get that. poor woman! i have had wax stuck to my arms and it wasn't fun... i had to go out too!
very funny lol i'll learn from that mistake!!
LOL! Oh my days, that was so funny, I could feel it as I was reading, had me cringing, that was funny!!
LMAO!!!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA LMMMMAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOOXOX
SHE'S numb! LOL
that was so funny, I laughed so hard. But I am sure it was not funny when it happened. Thank you for that.
hahahahhaha!!! thats sooo funny!!!
I adore you! what a truly horrible experience! that is worse than taht time i got a lemming stuck in the garbage disposal and had to call 911 to get him out! I called the plumber, but he was dead and my mom was busy at the Boy Ranch. That was awful.♥
That was just so funny and what made it even better was that there was not slang or typos!!
i've gotten this one in a forward a few times!! Love it!! Too funny
Ouch but funny! lol!
long............but hilarious
HAHA HILARIOUS, GIRL! Is THAT where the saying 'Learn from others' mistakes' came from?
You shouldn't assume that a man cant relate nor laugh at a very funny story ( I have waxed for charity so I do know.) have a star for determination.
lol.that was funny.crazy but funny
YOu poor poor woman! omg. It is soooooo hilarious. But then agian I feel guilty that i am laughing at your pain.
funny
brilliant pmsl 10/10
Fantastic ! 10/10.
boy am i SURE glad that i'm a bloke..... that has got to hurt like hell !!!!!!!!!
Sooooooo funny, but I was wincing for her as I read it!! *Have a star!!*
Aaaww, Lawd!! Aaaww, Lawd, Lawd!! heeheehee......Whooo!............Hahaha!
10/10 on the chuckle scale !
Aww you poor thing, you have my sympathy. Waxed before myself but never again......
OMG!!!!!!!!! I actually know women who've tried this....no wonder they all have that look on their faces when I ask how their night went....LOL..... You'll have to excuse me, I need tissue's for these tears of laughter!!!!!!!LOL Ta very much for the joke......LOL
Thankyou so much, that has just cheered up my evening-- brilliant!!!
Oh my life!!! That must be THE most funniest thing I have read in a long time. Wish there was a way to give you more than one star, because you REALLY deserve it!!! Cheers for the laughter - and also the tears!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA thats really funny hunni 10/10+*
HAHAHA I LIKE THAT ONE
That was brilliant very long but I never laughed as much or cringed. I could feel her pain.
yep its reeaaally long, didn't read it, but i'm sure it will b funny.