Gluesticks

Who should I sue and how much can I get?

I was home really drunk cutting water mellon when the knife slipped and cut open my thumb. It was a really deep cut that required super glue to seal the wound. Who should I sue and how much should I ask for? I was thinking about suing the bar that served me, the store that sold me the knife and water mellon, the grower of the water mellon and the owner of the trailer that I live in, since it happened on his property. Should I hire an attorney?

Public Comments

1. You should sue your high school for sending you out in the world woefully ill-prepared for real life.
2. If you can find one who will take the case. Most prefer to take cases they can actually win.
3. Sue the company that made the super glue that you used to seal the gaping wound in your thumb. Here's why: if they had not marketed the superglue as a cure-all that could seal anything together, you would have (1) not been so excited to try it out, and (2) may have chosen something other than carving a watermelon, but since the allure of the superglue labeling had such great appeal, it was impossible for you to find another way to test it, and the watermelon and knife were handy. In addition, you should sue everyone you mentioned and also these people: (1) the company that made the beer, (2) the grocery store where the watermelon was purchased, (3) the agricultural board that promotes watermelon, and (4) everyone who has educated you since the 1st grade, since they have clearly failed to warn you about this sort of possibility. Hire as many attorneys as possible. Good luck with your righteous effort.
4. aarrrrrggggghhhhhhh! !@#$%^&*(!@#$%^<>?<)(*&^%$#
5. You should sue your parents for not taking the dayafter pill... Or maybe even the condom co for making a faulty condom.