Gluesticks - Can you beleive it.?

Can you beleive it.?

just had to send this too you - hysterical!! No wonder I still shave > my legs......! > > > Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would > dare! Hope you > enjoy! > > > > This has to be one of the funniest and most awful > scenarios I have > ever > > heard of... Bless this woman!!! > > All hair removal methods have tricked us with their > promises of easy, > > painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, > Nair and now.... The > > Wax!! > > > > My night began as any other normal weekday night. > Come home; fix > > dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought > that would ring > > painfully in my mind for the next few hours; 'Maybe > I should do the > hair > > removal thing for the month?' > > > > So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. > It was one of > those > > cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you > just rub the strips > > together in your hand and then they get warm and you > peel them apart, > > press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair > comes right off! No > > mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no > girly, girl, but am > > mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it > out. > > > > *YA THINK!!!* > > So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two > strips facing each > > together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them > together, I get out > > the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax > my rear end (Oh, > how > > this phrase haunts me!). > > > > I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin > around it tight and > > pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it > wasn't too bad. I > can > > do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am > She-Ra, fighter of > > all wayward body hair and smooth skin > extraordinaire!! > > > > With my next wax strip, I move 'north'. After > checking on the kids, I > > sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair > fighting > > championship. I drop my panties and place one foot > on the toilet. > > > > Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip > across the right side > > of the bikini line, covering the right half of my > vagina and > stretching > > down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a > long strip). I > inhale > > deeply and brace myself.... > > > > RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! > > I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR > GOD !!!!!!!!!!! I'm > > making noises that only dogs can hear. > > > > Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only > managed to pull off > > half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and > RRIIPP... > > > > Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath > or speak - I have > > forgotten how .. > > Do I hear crashing drums????? > > > > Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) > After all this I > > want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with > my hairy pelt > that > > has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want > to revel in the > glory > > that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the > strip! > > > > There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS > THE WAX? Slowly I > > ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. > I see the > hair... > > The hair that should be > > on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I > run my fingers > over > > the most sensitive part of my body, which is now > covered in cold wax > and > > matted hair. > > > > Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . . > > Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. > I know I need to > > do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear > the slamming of > the > > cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed > shut!!! > > > > > > I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure > out what to do > and > > think to myself, 'Please don't let me get the urge > to poop. My head > may > > pop off.' > > > > Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the > hottest water I can > > stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax > covered bits and the > wax > > should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? > > > > WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly > hotter than then > > that used to > > torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical > equipment - I sit. > > > > Now, the only thing worse that having your nether > businesses glued > > together is having them glued together and then > glued to the bottom > of > > the tub. > > > > In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't > melt cold wax) > So, > > now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless > the man what > > convinced me I should have a phone in the > bathroom!!! I call my > friend, > > thinking surely she's waxed before and has come > secret of how to get > me > > undone. It's a very good conversation starter, 'So > my butt and who-ha > > are stuck to the bottom of the tub!' There is a > slight pause. She > > doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide > the laughter from > me. > > She wants to know exactly where the wax is located. > > > > 'Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - > you know - > > Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point)?' > > > > > > She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I > give her the > rundown > > and she suggests I call the number on the side of > the box. > > > > > > YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! > > > > > > I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night > jokes. While we > go > > through various solutions, I resort to scraping the > wax off with a > > razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie > goodies covered > in > > hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot > water, and then > dry > > shaving the sticky wax off!!! > > > > By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken > a major hike and > I > > slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still > talking with me and > my > > hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion > they give you to > > remove the excess wax. > > > > What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub > some on and OH MY > > GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared > the dickens out of > my > > friend, but I really don't care!! > > > > 'IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!' I get a hearty > congratulation from my friend > > and she hangs up. I successfully remove the > remainder of the wax and > > then notice, to my grief and despair... > > > > THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! > > > > > > So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. > > > > > > Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . . . > >

Public Comments

Eh !!!!!LOl What I would like to know is will you be using veet from now on.:o)
omg that is horrible! I feel bad for laughing!
lol
that's the funniest thing i've ever read!!!!
I WOULD LEAVE THE HAIR DYE FOR A YEAR IF I WERE YOU AND THEN GET A PRO TO DO IT POOR OL YOU
very amusing ..........you're lucky you didn't pull your innards out
Uh... wow... obviously I'm not a girl but your story rendered me speechless... I got a shaving nik on my chin this morning if that helps? You poor girl...
am so SO sticking to a salon! (pardon the pun!!)
thats brilliant! haha... i had a good laugh... i shall remain a wax virgin ive decided! lol
pmsl! dontcha just love these sorta stories! heres some 'moments' from the people in my family.,.. my aunt once put her 'towel' on her underwear the wrong way around! - major pain apparently lol my cousin once stuck all the 'airplane stickers' to the bedroom window - the ones usually located in the bathroom - haha! my mother once walked out of the public loos in the town centre with her skirt tucked into her knickers!
Later that night the lady's lover commented that she should be a bit more diligent when removing her pubic hair and that is why the poor girl is on the manslaughter charge.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!!!!!!!!
hehe.. that was quite funny... and actually reminded me of my first 'at home bikini waxing strips'. I have a blood disorder and so have to take a blood thinner every day, and as I pulled the first strip of my lady garden, none of the hair came off with it, I shrieked, then I bled, and then I was left wit a swollen, bruised front bum for a couple of days! I'd luckily only put one strip on so I didn't have to go through the pain of pulling off the other side! Since then, its hair removal cream all the way! Nair has been my god send!
lmao. nice one.
lol! let us know what colour you dye you are going to use ;o)
Ahahah....aww im p!ssing myself, but atleast we all know now what we shouldnt do ;]
OMG im still laughting totaly hilarious
0mg. wow.. extremely painful. =[
LMAO that is so funny!!!!! Yeah I wonder how that hair color is going to turn out lol!!!
Just shave it!!!! Mach 3, good shaving gel, and then use Jergens Naturally Smoot Hair minimzing lotion twice a day. Smooth is good, but getting there, and remaining there, should not be painful. Hope this helps.
this has been around a while--in fact, it was just posted a few weeks ago. Please no one think it really happened to the poster!