Gluesticks - I can just imagine the pain?

I can just imagine the pain?

WAX is Not your Friend > This is funny! CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed till I Almost cried as I could just see this happening! All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Her night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, Play with the kids. She then had the thought that would ring painfully In her mind for the next few hours: "Maybe she should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So She headed to the site of her demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you Just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel Them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull The hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, she's Not a genius, but she is mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So she pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each Other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, her genius kicks in so she got out the Hair dryer and heated it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"yeah...right!) she Laid the strip across her thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It Works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. She Can Do this! Hair removal no longer eludes her! She is She-rah, fighter of All wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With her next wax strip she moved north. After checking on the kids, she Sneaks back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. She drops her panties and placed one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, she applied the one strip across the right side of her bikini line, covering the right half of her *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of her bum cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) she inhaled deeply and Braced herself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! See's blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! Vision Returning, she noticed that she's only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and Spotted. She may pass out...must stay conscious...does she hear Crashing drums??? Breathe, Breathe...OK, back to normal. She wanted to see her trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has Caused her so much pain, with her hairy pelt sticking to it. She wants to revel In the glory that is her triumph over body hair. She holds up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly she eased her head down, foot still perched on the toilet. She sees The hair. The hair that should be on the strip. She touches. She is touching wax. CRAP! She runs her fingers over the most sensitive part of her body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then she makes the next BIG Mistake...remember her foot is still propped up on the toilet? She knows she Needs to do something. So she puts her foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!!she hears the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! She penguin walks around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do And thinks to herself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head May pop off!" What can she do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! She ran the hottest water she can stand into the bathtub, got in, Immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and she can gently wipe it Off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! She gest in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to Torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - she sits. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now she's stuck to the bottom of the tub as though she had cement-epoxied herself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced her a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! She called her Friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some Secret of how to get her undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for Removal but she does try to hide her laughter from her. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...she can hear her.she give her the Rundown and she suggests she call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! She should be the joke of someone else's night. While they go through various solutions.she resorts to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot Wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then Dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and she's Pretty sure she's going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. Her friend is still talking with her when she finally see her saving Grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What does she Really have to lose at this point?she rubs some on and OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of her friend. It's sooo painful, but she really doesn't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" She gets a hearty congratulation from her friend and she hangs up. She successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notices to her grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So she recklessly shaves it off. Heck, she's numb by now. Nothing hurts. She could have amputated her own leg at this point. Next week she's going to try hair color..... . Michelle.......it all depends where you're waxing!...lol.

Public Comments

this joke SUCK because it to longgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg you lose intrested after reading the first page of it
lmao!!!! OUCH!!! Nothing better than the combination of pain and humiliation!
haha
shorter version would have been a lot better...its funny but ot that funny because how stupid could one person be?
OMG!!! LOL LMAO!!!!! She (you?) have my sympathy! this is Mr. Bean like in its simplicity and construction... you can just see this happening!!!
ha omg that was good the end wasnt that great but the rest was
that was a masterpiece or should that be war and peace lmao a star for that
How funny!!! LOL... I really enjoyed reading this it was entertaining and educational... Have a great day...
A joke,I thought it was real.
oohh boy, now I'm never gonna touch cold wax strips again. LOL!!! You just made my day!!!
hahahahahaha that was hilarious!!! and stupid, my gosh cold wax is not that hard to use! i loved it, thanks for sharing!
painful! wow! that was historical! lol how stupid can a person get! lol LOL,_____LMAO,________ROLF where in the world did u get this from it's the most funniest thing ever!!
Long but very very funny. I am gonna star it take care and keep them coming!
haha :) and i read all of it.
That is too long to read. Shorter ones are always better. But thanks anyway.
this joke is the best one so far even though i heard it was a true story b/c THE PERSONE WHO HAD THIS AHPPEN TO WROTE IT HERE ON ANSWERS where you got this from BUT hey it is hilarious
women!!
too long and got bored and also not that funny but oh well it killed about an hour
Painful but funny! 100!
I wish I could have seen that. Without her knowing that I was there. Wow, what a funny story. Let us know what happens when she tries the hair color.
hahahaha! brilliant!! great joke...10/10 starred.
Well worth the read, all I could think of is OMG and OUCH! LOL. Very funny.
it has the making of a frank spencer story line - where one simple problem evolves thanks elsie - i'm off for a bath and i will remember the story next time i want some hair removing.... wax is not the way to go for me